A partner yelled at me in front of the whole floor. Everyone says “that's just him”.

Dear Not Soft,

Your experience raises difficult issues, not just about the nature of the legal industry, but about power imbalances and workplace behaviour in general.

In answer to your specific questions: no, you're not being soft. Being upset because someone yelled at you in front of your colleagues is a perfectly reasonable response. You might take some solace in the fact that your colleagues appear to have seen it for what it was, and not in any way a reflection of your performance.

Does it happen in law? Yes. But it also happens in every other profession and industry, and it's not uncommon for people to normalise the behaviour of people who hold direct control over their ongoing employment and career prospects.

It's not a great way to start your law career, and I understand your desire not to get used to it. I could tell you the "correct" way to deal with this: write down in detail everything that happened, speak with your supervisor, HR or even the partner directly, and let them know how the partner's behaviour made you feel.

That is very likely to be a career-limiting move. Right now, you are in a very vulnerable position. Even people a lot higher up than you, with a lot more power, would be taking a risk in addressing the partner's behaviour.

There is one step you can take safely, though. Keep a private, dated note of what happened: what was said, who was there, and what it was about. Don't lodge it anywhere or tell anyone it exists. It simply means that if this turns out to be a pattern, or you ever need to raise it, you have a record made at the time rather than a memory.

But the issue that stands out for me is that others who have been there a lot longer than you, and are presumably more senior, all say they have been putting up with the partner's behaviour for some time, and have done nothing about it. The other issue is the inaction of the other partners. Employers have a legal duty to provide a safe workplace, and that includes psychological safety. As your employer, the partnership has that responsibility to you, and clearly, it is failing.

I would ask myself: do I want to be the crusader who makes the first challenge? There's always a chance others have called the behaviour out before, and things haven't ended well for them. Have you made any discreet inquiries? Have others made complaints or threatened action, only to be quietly negotiated out of the business?

Part of any workplace experience is seeing the differences in workplace culture and deciding how important that is to you and your career. You seem to have already decided this is not the type of culture you want to be absorbed into. If you are in a position to move on to another workplace, give time and energy to that now, as it can take a while to find another position in a tight graduate market.

If that is not an option for you right now, the unfortunate advice is to keep your head down and focus on getting as much experience and learning as you can while you're there.

This won't be the first or only time you encounter reprehensible workplace conduct. As you progress through your career and build standing and professional respect, you will be in a much stronger position to do something meaningful about it.

In the meantime, it shouldn't fall on the shoulders of inexperienced graduates to do the heavy lifting here. Those who came before you have either created these environments or stood by and done nothing to stop them.

Louise.

If you need advice about your own situation, including your employment rights, speak to a qualified practitioner.